It’s the Burnout Syndrome, Baby!

If I could analyze my 2020–2021 from professional perspectives I’d say those years have been extremely productive. Here I’d need to put a happy dot but one morning I woke up in the huge beautiful flat crying and having a panic attack.

I’ve not been thinking about my real needs recently because I was constantly pushing myself in the name of love until I found myself in a broken emotional trough, wiping off my eyes with well-earned dollars.

I never complained about working hard but that day I dialed my mums’ number who I’ve not seen already for a year and some months. I just roared loudly into the phone with words, “Mum, please can I just cry with you?” I can hardly admit that I can possibly feel so weak and helpless. The same time I can’t just stop this running factory.

In my 26 years old I’m a ruble millionaire, serial entrepreneur, humanist, expected to be a Doctor of Philosophy by 28 years old with a 40% written dissertation on Russian emigration. You can also add here a b*tch if once I hurt your feelings, also it’s not my perception of the situation but yours and you definitely have a right for it until my own boundaries meet yours.

I always find that the easiest way to express feelings is through writing but I never found those who went through the agony of one’s own success and were writing about the myths that people keep buying and believing in. The price of one’s own growth both in terms of emotional tolerance and professional achievements is your own pain you go through again and again that keep breaking and fixing you again.

If I could give a piece of advice to whom it may concern, I’d say, “Cry it, cry it out loud, baby! Show your tears, your pain, and emotions, and then when it’s over show that you are simply unbreakable!”